Reviewtimes's Blog

Don’t Pass Me the Ball

reviewtimes — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 19:30:51 +0000

I’m not a fan of organized sports, because – in my narrow range of experience – they don’t reward honesty.

Speaking as a former untalented yet not hopeless child athlete, I submit that team sports are unfair (feign surprise if you must).

For example, I played center field for five seasons of little league baseball, not because I lacked talent to play an infield position nor because I displayed particular aptitude for fielding long drives. Instead, I ended up sun-dazed in the suburbs of the actual baseball game because a series of lazy coaches assigned positions this way: “What position did you play last year, son?”

I played center field the first year I signed up for a baseball team. And even though I knew how the coaches assigned positions, I could not force myself during subsequent years to say “shortstop” or “catcher” or the names of other positions I personally preferred to play when these coaches casually inquired about my last season’s occupation.

And so I spent most of my childhood a mile behind second base, my view of the sky obscured by a musty glove as I listened to the fading din of a coach screaming about his interest in the location of a ball that would never concern me.

I thought all of that would change the last year I played. During that year – the first season we would pitch without a machine – the coach introduced the team to a barrage of diagnostic drills. I should point out here that I was not a Pee-Wee Cy Young, but I didn’t embarrass myself. I was also a consistent hitter. But, as luck would have it, that year’s coach happened to be looking when a line drive nearly took my head off.

“Now, boys, I know you gonna be skittish of the ball time to time,” he said, expectorating into the dirt. “But this is big boy baseball, and you gotta be fielding with your bare hand. That baseball ain’t gonna hurt you.”

At risk of making too much of this coach’s manners – especially considering that I had been known to make a few sand castles in the dugout and thought “brung” was a legitimate word until I was 19 – he really did have a way with words.

“Worst can happen is your gonna lose a tooth,” he added, a jet of swill popping through his jaundiced chompers.

Guess who ended up in the outfield? And guess who never played baseball again?

When I think about the several years I invested in baseball, all I can remember is the satisfaction of consuming post-game concessions, especially a gooey Star Crunch Cosmic Snack and a sweaty can of Mountain Dew.

I’m going to blame my lackluster performance in tennis on the pressure of our overzealous coach, who sometimes interjected with cheers like “make him bleed” or “don’t be the first person to ever lose a game to this kid!”

For the record, that was a close game.

In other tennis news, I didn’t realize I needed a partner for the Valentine’s Day Doubles Tournament. Actually, let’s not talk about tennis anymore.

The highlight of my young athletic career would have to be my stint as a student of Shotokan Karate, which, according to the prestigious Wikipedia, promotes “the notions of humility, respect, compassion, patience, and both an inward and outward calmness.”

Which sounds great until a grown man in a canvas house dress is advancing on you with a flurry of front kicks, grunting “Keyai!” the whole time. Also, just so you know, karate tournament judges do deduct points from your belt test if you become nauseous and vomit politely outside between warm-up and your Kata performance.

Another fun fact about karate: your second-grade class will find it very entertaining if you perform this choreographed series of karate moves apropos of nothing in the middle of a math test.

Now, before you point out that my pattern of athletic failures seems to revolve around my inability to admit that I may not have been exceedingly gifted or interested in the above activities, let me do some inoculation advertising by simply saying: I am aware of this fact.

I also don’t want to disparage the efforts of dedicated coaches or the values of any particular sport.

But similar instances of coaching that are unfair – maybe even lazy, bizarrely aggressive, impractical or just downright confusing (karate) – absolutely qualify as pet peeves and make me even now dread the thought of stepping out of my parents’ 1989 Aerostar van to attend practice. And, still, I say I could be playing shortstop today if it weren’t for my inability to lie about my athletic career in the outfield.

~ Will

Is City Council taking care of Fostoria’s health?

reviewtimes — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 19:17:45 +0000

Everyone is feeling the economic pinch. Everything costs more and people are making less. So it’s not news that Fostoria is facing some economic trouble.

Two factories have closed in the last year and the job base here is shrinking. Not only is this bad news for Fostorians, it’s bad news for the city. Fewer jobs mean less money from payroll taxes, which means less money to keep the city running. Despite a city income tax that’s twice the rate of Findlay at only a third the population size, there’s at least a $1 million deficit ahead.

City officials have been crunching numbers and putting together proposals to keep the city in the black. There’s at least an unofficial hiring freeze and Safety Service Director Dennis Fligor says layoffs are coming.

The mayor’s office has been working to come in under budget and looking for ways to avoid losing personnel — enforcing strict water bill payments, not buying more salt for the roads and not renewing some contracts. One of Davoli’s suggested solutions was to end full-time benefits for part-time elected officials.

City Council members and the Law Director can receive full-time health benefits, which include full medical, full dental, full vision and full pharmaceuticals, according to Davoli. Half of the eight Council members are using the insurance at a cost to the city of $50,000 annually. That amount of money could save the job of a police officer, a firefighter or a city employee.

Unfortunately, Davoli decided instead to argue his case in the court of public opinion, revealing his idea in a Jan. 14 story in the Review Times. When contacted for comment, City Council members were surprised. They went on the defensive.

And by the Jan. 26 Finance Committee meeting, nearly everyone was on the offensive. Heated words flew, Council President Joe Droll calling Davoli “egotistical” and “vindictive” and questioning the mayor’s motives, then Davoli denying and countering with allegations of Sunshine Laws violations by the Council.

With a week to cool off, the Finance Committee fired back with a “feel good” ordinance that allows elected officials to donate money back to Fostoria in refunds and contributions.

The only change this ordinance makes is to give that money to the year-old trust fund. The reason for this? “Politics,” according to Councilman Paul Feasel in the Feb. 3 story on the matter. And Council promptly approved this time-wasting measure.

Councilwoman Barb Marley, who did vote against the donation measure, spearheaded the defeat of Davoli’s ordinance, claiming the Council should still have the opportunity to purchase the health insurance, but pay the premium themselves.

Davoli took Marley’s suggestion to heart and plans to have an ordinance ready for the next council meeting. But Marley is an attorney who is hopefully aware of the issues before Council and there is no reason such an ordinance shouldn’t have been before Council last night.

Instead, the Council voted (save lone opponent Georgie Widmer) against the removal of benefits, refusing to eliminate this unnecessary cost, even as another story in today’s paper details the impending layoffs.

What do you think? Should City Council retain the benefit? Remove them? Pay their own premiums? Comment below and tell us your opinion.

Did Super Bowl XLIII’s ads score or fumble? (w/ video! Yay!)

reviewtimes — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 21:35:06 +0000

Another Super Bowl, another ring for Big Ben.

I’ll admit, this time around the game was actually worth watching and, while I personally had no preference over who beat who, I actually enjoyed it for once.

But to a lot of people (including me), the game tends to be filler in between the long, expensive ads that companies roll out for the big game. And while this years batch seemed to be so-so at best (even after shelling out $3 million for 30 secondsof ad time in a struggling economy), there were a few giggles, laughs and possibly a gaffaw or two to be had.

So here, for your approval, are the tops of this years Super Bowl ads…

1. Beer-nanza

Budweiser tends to reign supreme over the laugh factor when it comes to ads. While they’ve gotten some stiff competition the past few years, they once again stood out pretty well time around. Take this one where Conan O’Brien brings the star power and the funny – in Swedish!…

And another good one (though I enjoyed the previous one better) was what happens when the budget is tight in the office (though I will admit, I wouldn’t mind working here – I wouldn’t have to be so discreet about drinking at the office then…jk. Seriously)…

And of course the slew of required Clydesdale ads. They’ve lost a bit of their gloss since the first one, but they’re still pretty cool. The fetch one was worth a chuckle and the circus one was an “Awwww”-enduring moment. The ancestry, on the other hand, makes you want to puff out your chest and be proud to be an American. What else is more patriotic than horses and beer?!

On the other hand, Miller had a much more modest, yet no less talked about ad, that ran for a grand total of….one second.

This as opposed to the one second ads that didn’t make the cut.

2. Ads that ‘Pop”

Coke and Pepsi commercials can be hit and miss. Despite the handful of gems that come along every so often like “Mean” Joe Green or Cindy Crawford, some of these commercials can be a bit “bleah”. But both comapnies did manage to pull out a few fun ones this year.

Coke had two that I thought really stood out. Not many of my friends really cared for the bugs invading the picnic and stealing the bottle of Coke, but I thought it was cute and, if nothing else, a real treat for the eyes and a needed break from the snow and cold outside…

…and they even revisited the “Mean” Joe Green ad…with a bit of a modern twist for Coke Zero (“Is he coming? IS HE COMING?!” Go, Polamalu, go!). This one cracked me up.

Pepsi was kind of a flat this year, in my opinion, though the MacGuyver rip-off ad “MacGruber” or…uh…”Pepsuber” featuring the original MacGuyver Richard Dean Anderson and SNL‘s Kristen Wiig and Will Forte was pretty good.

Pepsi also explained men and their remedy to the fear of diet cola. “I’m good!”

3. Need a new job? Stay Tuned!

The ads for online jobs sites have been getting better and better over the last couple years and I think they again did pretty well for themselves this time around. The Moose commercial from Monster.com was surprising and worth a laugh…

…but the one that I absolutely loved (and possibly my favorite this year) is Careerbuilder.com’s signs that you should get a new job. The “Hey, dummy” part had me laughing out loud, along with the poor koala muttering “Oh, dear!” before being smoked in the face (I’m not really a violent person and I would never hurt an animal, I swear!)). Though for the record, my job does make me cry all the time…

4. Sex sells…apparently…again…

GoDaddy.com continues the ad campaign they started a few years ago with well-endowed women jiggling around to hock website domains, and for the second year they bring along NASCAR star Danica Patrick to seduce her way into your minds in two seperate spots, both to be continued at GoDaddy’s website because they’re supposedly “too hot for TV” (they’re not). Below are the full versions…

Meh.

5. From the mouths of babes!

I guess the title to 5 could have worked for the videos of 4 too, bit I digress. The eTrade baby is back and this time he’s brought a friend or two. These were enjoyable because, hey, who doesn’t like a talking baby? Or a singing baby for that matter? “Take-uh…these bro-ken WIIIINGS!”

Heh, heh, heh. Shankapottomus…

6. “Tire”some ads that leave a chip on your shoulder

Actually, these ads aren’t that tiresome or leave any chips on your shoulder, nacho-flavored or otherwise.

Bridgestone had a pair of fun commercials, one featuring a pair of astronauts getting their car chopped (probably by those pesky moon men) and another featuring everyone’s favorite spud and his nagging wife. I know a few people whose mouths I wish would just fall off…

Doritos had a fairly good commercial featuring a snow globe that could tell the future and/or grant wishes. I’m not sure if I should add or retain points for the old “man gets nailed in the crotch” gag, though…

7. The rest of the team

The rest of the ads were hit-or-miss at best, though a couple were worth a view. Pedigree had a fun one featuring different pets wreaking havoc (but I still say a pet rhino named Rusty would be sweet!).

Teleflora’s ad made me laugh. It involved a woman who recieves some very bad flowers at her workplace. Seriously, these were bad buds! “No one wants to see you naked!”

Finally, what do you do when you want star power but you’re just too cheap to pay for it? Why, hire some bankrupt celebrities, of course! M.C. Hammer and Ed McMahon made for an interesting duo in a stupid commercial, hocking their medallions, giraffes, records and hip replacements (though personally, I could never part with a solid gold toilet).

So that’s it – the highlights of this years Super Bowl commercials. I didn’t include them all, obviously, but these were the best of the crop, at least as far as I’m concerned. Everything else just seemed underwhelming (not that these were terrific). Did you have a favorite that made the list? Didn’t make the list? What do you think of this years ads compared to years past? Let us know!

- Jason

Gavin gets Perez’d

reviewtimes — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 21:36:37 +0000

If you get naked on stage, you suddenly get Perez Hilton’s attention. Findlay-native Gavin Creel made an appearance on PerezHilton.com today (the site is a bit NSFW, so consider yourself warned).

Gavin is wonderful but not usually on Perez Hilton’s radar and the reason he’s appearing now is he’s starring as Claude in the Broadway revival of “Hair” (The show opens in New York March 31):

“Broadway hottie Gavin Creel who is going to be starring as Claude in the revival of Hair, at the New York Times Arts & Leisure Weekend event in NYC on Sunday.

Does he get naked in Hair?????

We hope so!”

It’s a bit disconcerting to see a guy you went to high school being lusted over by the “Queen of all Media” (makes the times I occasionally get recognized from my column mug shot a little less impressive…)

I suppose any press is good press when you have a show opening in a tough economy, but I’d have gone with something more like this:

The dark side of the Moon(light)

reviewtimes — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 21:38:00 +0000

Last winter, I fell in love with a TV show, “Moonlight.” The series ran on CBS for 16 short episodes and I’ve been
heartsick over it ever since.But during the last three weeks, my attention has been absorbed by the online soap opera this cancellation gave birth to.The setting for the soap opera is a Web site, www.moonlightline.com, run by a woman known online as “Leeser.”

By default, since Leeser owned the site and said she had sources at the show, she became the leader of that little corner of the fandom. She collected money for various things: coffee for the cast and crew, pizza for the writers during the strike, birthday presents for the cast and more. Nice things we wanted to do to thank them for their hard work.
Yes, somehow in the madness of loving a show, I decided that actors who make at least triple my salary per episode needed free coffee and a pretty, pretty birthday present.

She decided to host a pricey convention in Los Angeles at about $150 a head, sending more than $20,000 directly into her bank account.

All the while hundreds of fans were sending tens of thousands of dollars her way for various projects. When the show got canceled, in a desperate rescue effort, the fans raised $15,000 and more for ads in trade publications, an anonymous donor steps forward to pay for ads on LA buses and sends Leeser $11,000 back in July.

The magazine ads appeared on time as promised, but the bus ads don’t. They are late. And the anonymous donor begins to worry. Not a lot. Leeser’s had thousands of dollars from the fans in her bank account over the last few months. Sure, no one has any accounting of them, but the fans trust her and the fact that she wants “Moonlight” as much as if not more than anyone else.

Over the course of a month, Leeser produces a variety of excuses regarding problems with the printer. They didn’t get the art. There’s an unspecified hold-up. An unspecified printer error means the ads must be redone. The dog ate her homework.

Leeser makes regular posts to the Web site about the delays when badgered, seeming herself the soul of patience and calm demeanor. E-mails fly across the Web not just from worried, “Moonlight”- deprived fans, but also from the anonymous donor to Leeser.

Repeated “issues with the printer” are blamed for the better part of a month and the donor decides to cut out the middle man. She contacts the advertising and printing companies herself.

Only to discover there is no problem on that end.

Leeser hasn’t paid for the printing. She hasn’t delivered the art work. The donor’s $11,000 is somewhere, but it isn’t paying for bus ads.

Her calls to Leeser get a little more frantic and a little more frequent.

The printer receives $925 to pay for the actual printing, but still has no art from Leeser, who’s not returning phone calls from the donor.

Finally, the donor realizes that she may be watching her money circle the drain. So she posts an announcement on the board with her accounting of the facts and asking for Leeser to respond. Hundreds of active fans, who’ve also entrusted Leeser with plenty of their own money, are suddenly very interested in what happened to this money.

The stench of misconduct is in the air and suddenly there was a possibility of money gone missing.

Which is where I came into the picture again. Back in July, I pestered Jason Smith, the graphics editor here into creating the ad, so when I read that post, I contacted the donor and became embroiled in the sordid tale. I sent her another copy of the file for the ad and ended the no-art argument. The printers have the art, the donor signs off on it
and now the burden is solely on Leeser. The original contract expired Aug. 24, but they granted her an extension until Sept. 18 to produce the remaining money or there will be no ads.

In the spirit of the Internet, everyone has an opinion. Some plead for patience and trust in Leeser. Others demand an explanation and all the little black marks on her record begin to look that much darker.

Leeser reveals a tale of woe and ill fortunate that is stranger than any soap opera. The hold up, it seems is due to theft. Not Leeser’s – she’s the victim. Apparently the donor gave her two payments for the ads and for reasons still unclear, she cashed the second check and wandered into downtown L.A. with $3,000 cash in her wallet. Which she says was stolen.

She did not file a police report. She did not tell the donor. Instead, the woman concocted all manner of lies more appropriate to a four-year-old than a 44-year-old.

Leeser claims embarrassment as the reason for her lies and obfuscation, but still has not paid for the ads. Or returned the remainder of the money. An online uproar commences as the donor produces e-mails and other evidence to support every aspect of her story. Leeser posts a scanned copy of her driving license, claiming that to be proof of the theft of her wallet, containing the money.

With the door opened to that bit of misconduct, others come pouring in. Further questions began to be asked about the handling of fan donations. The other people who helped with the convention detail about a $10,000 in the money collected and the costs for the event.

Then the matter of magazine ads arise. No one is in any doubt that the money was collected, the ads appeared as promised. But no one knows exactly how much money was collected and Leeser has not responded to requests for a full accounting. Her silence was deafening.

But the ringing of my phone was not. My number is the only one that Variety has, other than Leeser’s. The advertising representative, sounding much like the ones I hear calling local businesses from the other side of the newspaper office, called me to find out if she can get any other information about Leeser. Because Leeser has not paid for the ads. Her credit card, used to secure the full page ad, was declined. Since I’m used to hunting people down for stories, I managed to find an address and other small bits of information for the magazine.

On a hunch, I called The Hollywood Reporter and find out they, too, are quite interested in the whereabouts of Leeser, aka: Lisa Gerry.

About this time, people begin to ask the questions they should have in the beginning. Who is this woman? Can she be trusted with huge amounts of money?

What even a consummate con artist may not realize is that once something is on the Internet, it is there for the long haul. You can delete a page but odds are good the Google bot archived it and there are entire sites dedicated to archiving old pages. With just one bit of information people’s tracks are quite easy to find.

Leeser had disclosed her real name and her mailing address, so researching her was as easy as Google. The woman had her fingers in all sorts of online schemes. She offered 24-hour notary services, Web design and public
relations work. She had a pagan online church, a pagan preschool with accusations of fraud, pagan lawyers, the pagan kitchen sink.

She squatted on famous folks’ domains and “facilitated” virtual life assistants. She had a really bad dominatrix page and not-safe-for-work ads for her services.

And all this for a fee.

A site was ultimately set up to track her cyber comings and goings and there were plenty of them.

It turns out Leeser was a lot more than just a super-fan trying to get “Moonlight” back on the air. She hadn’t been working since January and maybe the fandom just started pouring money at her at just the wrong time, provided just the wrong temptation. But she refused to address the concerns of the people who’d put their trust in her.

Ultimately, Leeser shut the site down rather than answer questions, scattering critics to the winds of the Web and leaving people a little bit more cynical, a little bit more wise and with a little less money in the wallet.

I suppose this is less a soap opera and more a morality play. The lesson learned is to never send money across the Internet unless you’re prepared to lose it. The Web can be the ultimate in self-delusion and mystery. No one is necessarily what they seem and a lie can be told with the click of a keyboard.

After all, there are places on the Web where I’m a skinny, leggy blond with an interest in skydiving and physics. But that’s, um, another blog…

- Mariah

Disney makes Jack walk the plank

reviewtimes — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:24:33 +0000

The first trip I ever took to a Disney theme park was when I was 5-years-old. One of the most distinct memories of that outing is getting Pinocchio’s autograph, then quickly ducking away as so many starry-eyed kids mobbed him, he was literally pinned to a wall. Poor guy.

Thus is the plight of the costumed Disney theme park employee. For every Cinderella, Tarzan and Eeyore, there’s a throng of drooling children waiting to meet their entertainment icons. It can be a real job hazard.

But who would’ve guessed your theme park fanbase could get you fired?

It’s being reported that Disneyland has fired all four of their Jack Sparrow actors due to recent problems with rowdy, young female park-goers flashing their, uh, ”cannonballs” at the rock star pirate. “They lost control when they saw Jack Sparrow,” said former Sparrow Brandon Pinto, who left the role about a year ago. “This is a sexy, rock-star pirate.”

While park officials deny the claim and attributed the pulling of everyone’s favorite Pirates of the Caribbean star to declining requests and popularity for the character, it’s really does make you wonder, especially when this incident is followed closely by one actor’s account of his former adventures as Jack at the “Happiest Place on Earth” (a recommended read – it’s hilarious).

But don’t worry. While Jack Sparrows are being ousted, it looks like the Magic Kingdom is hiring extra actors to portray Tinkerbell and her fairy friends to help promote the release of Disney’s new Tinkerbell movie.

Rowdy, manly pirates replaced with fairies? It’s enough to make you want to protest!

Or maybe make a guy buy his own Jack Sparrow outfit…

- Jason

Twilight sparkles

reviewtimes — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:29:23 +0000

There’s nothing particularly unique about the story of “Twilight” on the surface. Boy meets girl. Girl falls in love. Boy turns out to have a long pair of fangs destined for her luscious young neck.”Twilight” is a Romeo-and-Juliet tale with a twist. Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) is a sweet, clumsy high school student who moves to Forks, Wash. to stay with her police chief father, Charlie (Billy Burke), when her mother gets remarried. There she meets Edward (Robert Pattinson), the gorgeous, seductive young man who’s impossibly fast and strong and his skin is ice cold.He’s 17 and he’s been 17 for a while. And his appeal to tweens and their mothers — and certain bloggers — is bound to last awhile, too.

Edward’s family, the Cullens, are vampires as well, but fortunately for Bella, they are “vegetarian” vampires as they like to call themselves and only feed on
animals. Unfortunately, not all vampires share their compunctions about
feeding on humans and when three such vampires catch Bella in the Cullens’ midst, she becomes a tasty prize.

The movie is obviously a small budget character film that has suddenly been shoehorned into a blockbuster role. It’s been put into a studio tent pole position, a role that doesn’t quite fit. The special effects are passable — no bits that are clearly green screened, the deft touch of Industrial Lights and Magic make their own sort of magic –but not
impressive the way a movie with such hype should be.

Particularly awful is a scene in which Edward reveals what he looks like in the light, described in the book as though his skin was made of diamonds.
What reads well on the page doesn’t always translate to impressive on the screen. This effect, as Edward turns angsty and melodramatically toward the camera, results in guffaws instead of awed sighs.

Any sin can be forgiven, though, for the sake of the on screen couple. When Edward and Bella share the screen, they gain a gravity that pulls every member of the audience into their orbit. The two have an undeniable chemistry and the yearning between the two is painful and beautiful and carries even the cheesiest lines.

The love story makes this film a winner no matter what. And it means I’m going back again and again and again…

-Mariah

Return to Hogwarts

reviewtimes — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 21:34:05 +0000

The new international trailer was released yesterday for next summer’s Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince…

…revealing a film franchise that’s growing darker with it’s audience. Evil is undoubtedly rearing it’s head at he wizard school, and this time Harry has the help of Dumbledore.

I always thought it was interesting how the books grew richer and darker (and most of the time thicker) with each successive volume. They grew with their audience and, if this trailer is any indication, this film won’t be for the kiddies. Thoughts?

- Jason

The movies lose their voice

reviewtimes — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 21:28:08 +0000

Maybe you don’t know his name. Or even his face. But everyone knows his voice.

Don Lafontaine, master of the movie trailer and commercial voiceover, died Monday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles due to complications from pneumothorax (a collapsed lung that causes air to build in the pleural cavity). He was 68.

Known for his gravelly, attention-grabbing voice, Lafontaine provided the voiceovers for hundreds of movie trailers, including The Godfather, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Fatal Attraction, Dr. Strangelove and many others. He even poked fun at his usually dramatic performances in the trailer for The Simpsons Movie. Lafonatine was best known for his often-imitated catchphrase "In a world…".

He also voiced thousands of commercials. One of his most recent was one for Geico (note the "In a world…" reference):

But who better to fill in the blanks of his own life than Don himself?

Condolences go out not only to his loved ones, but also to all the films he’ll never do voiceovers for.

Because "in a world" without Fontaine’s voice, going to the movies will never be the same.

- Jason

Movie Poster Madness!

reviewtimes — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:23:47 +0000

My apologies for the lack of posts recently. My only excuse is the excellent football and flood coverage that I’ve been wading through and tackling as of late (hahaha…ha…heh…eh…).

In any case, here’s a little something that Courier editor Sean Corp pointed out to me: a test on your movie poster knowledge. It’s a quiz put together by EmpireOnline.com that strains your brain to try and identify letters from the titles of (duh) movie posters.

And even though Sean got 28 correct, I myself scored a 29 before I left work. Though, for some reason, I get the feeling that this is one of those things where even if you win, you lose…

Oh, well – still fun!

- Jason